Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
