That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Randomize
