who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
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