Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
