Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
