The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
