Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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