Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
