i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
