This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
