One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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