So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer