He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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