You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Can Purell be used as lube?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
