Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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