Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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