It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
