I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
40s are totally the cure
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Randomize
