dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
