i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
