Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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