Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
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No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable