Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help