I'm sorry my penis didn't work
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom