There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%