my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.