Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
