U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
