At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
