put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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