I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
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Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
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He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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