This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
