Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
