PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
