yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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