Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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