I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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