OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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