super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
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