I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I love you.
Bad choice
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
