Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Randomize
