She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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