I never want to see another naked old woman again.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
