How'd it feel making her break her religion?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
