do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I think I won the penis lottery.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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