hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
