He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize