therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
