My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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