I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
