i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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