Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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