why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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