So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
