Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Randomize
