so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He called his prostate his "boner button".
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
