Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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