Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize