You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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