I want to make a zoo with you.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
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Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
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You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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