I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
