I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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